Lest we forget
by ShuriTigerH
Summary: Christmas is the time to be with family, but also the time we miss the loved ones we lost just a little bit more than usual. This is true for humans, but at least as much for shinigami...Set the first Christmas after the second Musical


Author's note: apologies to those waiting for the conclusion to One Uneventful Evening, it's being worked on, I promise. I just needed to write this down first and in time for Christmas. I hope you'll enjoy this little bit, please review^^! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

EDIT: I changed a few little things since it was pointed out to me that Will is somewhat OOC. Seems he's still refusing to completely go back IC. Oh well, I tried^^.

William let his eyes wander through the festively decorated room, watching his subordinates dance, drink and enjoy themselves from his place in the corner. It had taken him long to decide whether the division Christmas Eve party should go through this year, considering the things that happened since last time and the fact that his superiors had cut the holiday budget again, but eventually he had decided that his men NEEDED this one night, budgets be damned. Partying was the shinigami way of coping with the darker, more traumatizing side of their profession, it was with good reason there was traditionally a celebration after mass reapings and such. His workers were no good to him if they were distracted. William let his thoughts travel back to the previous Christmas party. That had been the best they ever had, he had actually quite enjoyed himself there. Now, even though the shinigami gathered looked like they were having fun, something was decidedly different from last year. Everything seemed more modest, the food, the decorations, the music, even some of the guests' attire. The atmosphere was slightly subdued, as if people were somehow afraid to go all out, aware as they were that two people were very distinctively missing this year and would never attend again.

William himself had been having serious doubts about attending this year. It had taken him annoyingly long to get over the shock of finding his two subordinates' dead bodies and to somewhat come to terms with the things he had seen in their cinematic records, and he had not been looking forward to having all that stirred back up during the holiday season, which he knew would inevitably happen. Grell and Ronald had managed to convince him otherwise. The two had even taken it upon themselves to organize the whole thing. William's eyes searched the small crowd for the young blonde he had been watching over from a distance all night. It was mostly for him that he had let this party go through, the boy had been with him when they found Eric and Alan and had taken it quite hard. Organizing a party had seemed the perfect way to get him to get his mind off things. It seemed Ronald had taken the task quite seriously, he was still flitting about inbetween chatting with people, adjusting decorations, paying an uncharacteristic lot of attention to details, even right now. William felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. It seemed the boy was doing quite well, thank the higher gods.

William's gaze drifted off to the drinks table. Off to the side, away from all the empty and refilled glasses and bottles, there were two glasses of wine standing untouched. They were accompanied by a small paper sign attached to a small decorated fir twig. If he squinted, William could read the writing on it from where he was standing: "reserved", written in Ronald's somewhat sloppy, schoolboyish handwriting . He could guess who the drinks were reserved for. He could almost see them standing there, chatting, enjoying themselves, Alan with a modest smile on his pale, delicate lips and Eric with that perpetual grin plastered across his face. The grin that had turned out to hide such a horrible secret. And he had completely and utterly failed to see it coming... How could things have gone so very wrong?

Suddenly, a flurry of red blocked William's view, shattering his thoughts, and latched on to his arm. He had to act quickly and move his barely-touched drink to the table next to him before it would spill all over his perfectly polished shoes. He couldn't help shooting a glance up to check if there wasn't any mistletoe accidentally hanging over his head. There wasn't. "Sutcliffe! Watch it!" He froze when the redheaded bombshell, dressed for the occasion in a floor-length crimson dress with black accents that hugged and showed off his feminine body to perfection, happily nuzzled his neck. "Wiiillll~! Thank you so much for letting us have this partyyy!" Grell squealed, not realizing his mouth was currently right next to his superior's ear. "I'm so happy you decided to show!". William managed not to cringe at the piercing sound directly assaulting his eardrums and with a straight face pried himself away from the redhead clinging to his person. "Grell, get off me! And… you're welcome…" The feminine shinigami gave a sweet, but due to his sharp, sharklike teeth rather chilling, smile. "Aww, you're a sweety, Will, whether you like to admit it or not." For once, it didn't sound like a tease.

William looked away, hiding his awkwardness at the remark by adjusting his glasses. Grell affectionately leaned his head on the shoulder he had just been pried off of, following his superior's gaze into the room. "We made a nice little party out of it, didn't we?" he asked softly, sliding his slender hand into the crook of the other's elbow. "That you have," William had to admit. "They look like they're enjoying themselves.." "They are," Grell assured him, subtly trying to entwine his fingers with Will's. William quickly pulled his hand away and stuck it in his pocket. "And Knox?" "Ronald's doing good, having fun, I even saw him dancing just now," the redhead smiled. The two shinigami exchanged glances, thinking the same thing for once. "It's good to see our Ronny smiling again," Grell put their mutual thought into words. "And you should smile too, it's Christmas!" He moved in front of the taller man and took his hand in both of his own, trying to subtly pull him towards the dancefloor. "Where is he, anyway?", Will questioned, ignoring the younger shinigami and scanning the party over the redhead's perfect, bare schoulder. "Oh, he said he had to pop out for a minute, had something to do, I'm sure he'll be back soon," Grell answered nonchalantly. "Now come on, be a gentleman and ask this beeyootiful lady to dance!" He whirled around, skirt flaring up, and again started to pull William by the hand.

"Grell, stop it," William protested. He hated dancing, in public anyway, but more importantly, he had the urge to go check on Ronald. "Aww, Wiiilll~!" Grell whined, putting on his much-practiced puppyface. "Don't be a party-pooper! Please, just one? For meee~? I put this dress on just for you, you know." "I'm sorry. You do look lovely." That wasn't a lie. "Maybe later." William let his gaze wander to the elaborate wooden clock hanging above the door, if only to get away from those nigh-irresistible green eyes that were trying to manipulate his very soul. A few minutes to midnight, a few minutes to Christmas Day. "I'm going to take a short stroll around the premises, to get some fresh air," he added truthfully, annoyed at the sudden need to explain himself. "To look for Ronald, you mean." Grell replied, suddenly serious, tilting his head to the side as he looked his superior in the eyes. "Does that matter?" William snapped back. That red shinigami may act like an idiot, but he sure was no fool. "To his surprise Grell smiled softly. "Aw, alright, go, though I'm sure he's just fine. Just… save the last dance for me, okay? And one more thing…" He stood up on his tippytoes and tenderly kissed the taller man on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, William. You big softy." He grinned a cheshire grin, whirled around and disappeared into the dancing crowd before the other could decide on whether or not to hit him. "And to you, Grell…" William spoke softly, a slight blush painting his cheeks. He sighed and went to get his coat. He definitely was being way too soft tonight... In passing he noticed that the glasses on the drinks table were gone.

A thick silence enveloped William as he walked through the empty corridors, only broken by the clicking of his own shoes against the marble floors. He had an idea where Ronald had gone, or rather where he himself would be going if he were in the young shinigami's shoes right now. Grell was right, the boy was probably fine, but William had been there and held him when he had come completely and utterly undone right after Alan and Eric had died and the thought that he might be alone out there going through that again was somehow rather disturbing. He sped up his pace as he rounded a corner and headed for the front door. Outside it was cold, the air was icy and everything was covered in virgin snow, although the footpaths were neatly cleaned. William passed the large marble statue in front of the Library and took the path leading to the vast gardens located inbetween the Library itself and the surrounding Division buildings. Although it was pitch dark out, the moon painted everything a magical, silvery-white. He slowed down as he saw his goal shimmering in the darkness, all the way at the back of the landscape garden he was now walking through: the Shinigami Wall of Remembrance, holding small plaques with the names of all the Shinigami that had lost their lives in the line of duty. In front of the crystalline structure Ronald was kneeling, honey-blond hair and thick black glasses illuminated by the golden light of two candles. The boy hadn't even bothered to put on a coat. He was talking softly to someone unseen. William stopped at a distance, deciding there was no reason to interrupt the scene.

"…it's been busy, but I'm glad I could get here on time today," Ronald said while placing the candles in the small candleholders next to two ajacent plaques located at waist height. "I'm sorry it's been a while, I still really miss you…" He was now talking directly to the plaque marked "Alan Humphries" followed by a date of rebirth and a date of death. The one next to it read "Eric Slingby" with dates. "So…" the boy checked his large watch, smiled and placed the two glasses of wine he had brought with him on the small ledge at the bottom of the wall. "Merry Christmas, Alan." His eyes drifted to the other plaque and he sighed. "Okay, fine, you too a merry Christmas, Eric… even though I still think it's your fault you're both gone." William could hear the hurt in the blonde's voice, the boy knew the situation had been much more complicated than that, but he needed to place the blame somewhere. He watched silently as Ronald clinked the two glasses together and then clinked them again with a third glass he'd brought for himself. "Cheers, I hope you two are happy now, wherever you are…" He took a sip from his drink and his large emerald eyes went vacant as he stared into the warm, golden light of the candles as if he could see his beloved friends in there. Suddenly a warm coat was draped around his shoulders. He looked up to see William looking down on him, his usually cold green eyes much warmer than the scenery around them. "You shouldn't be drinking alcohol in the cold like that, you'll freeze…"

"William…" Ronald stood up, leaving his glass with the others. "I had a feeling you'd follow me here…" he smiled warmly but somehow still seemed miles away. He looked pale and somehow fragile, with only his cheeks red from the cold. William let his gloved finger travel across the two plaques respectfully, in some sort of greeting, careful not to disturb the burning candles. Then he stepped back and stood next to the boy who was now snuggling into the coat William had brought for him. They both stood silently for a few minutes, staring into the candlelight, each lost in their own thoughts concerning the two they had lost. "They've forgotten, haven't they?" Ronald finally broke the silence in a quiet voice. "The others, back at the party I mean. They're just having fun, they don't care, they weren't even there back then, why should they…" "No," William replied decidedly. "They're trying to forget, just because they remember so well. That's what these parties are for, you know that better than anyone. To forget the pain, but not what caused it…" "I know," Ronald spoke quietly. "I just had to do this, you know, I needed to feel like he's still here, somehow. Them, I mean." He stared at the glistening wall, his eyes misting over behind his lenses. "I'm sure they very much appreciate it," William replied. He reached out and tenderly rubbed the back of the boy's neck with one hand, then held his arm out and simply waited. Ronald silently accepted the gesture and snuggled up against him, resting his head against his strong shoulder and allowing him to wrap his extended arm securely around the boy's shoulders. "It was one of his greatest fears, you know," the blonde whispered. "That no-one would remember him after he died…but I'll-I'll NEVER forget him, EVER…" His arms wrapped around the taller man's waist, looking for comfort as silent tears started to finally fall from his eyes. William allowed Ronald to bury his face in his neck. His free hand started to stroke the quietly sobbing boy's soft hair and cramped back, much like it had done that first time. "He was wrong," he whispered into the luscious golden curls, allowing his lips to brush the younger's forehead in a brief, chaste, comforting kiss before resting his cheek against his head. "He was so wrong…"

For what seemed like an eternity, they just stood there. The moon had disappeared and just as Ronald had started to calm down, large, downy snowflakes started to come down from the heavens. "Just like when they left" the boy whispered in awe, watching as snowflakes fell into the three drinks at the foot of the wall, covering the half-frozen liquids evenly as if they belonged together. Curiously, the candles continued burning. "See, even the Realm itself remembers them," William said, still firmly holding him. Just then one moonbeam broke through the clouds and illuminated the text engraved at the top of the Wall of Remembrance: "To all we have lost along the way: may they always live on in our hearts and souls" "Wow," Ronald sighed. "Okay, I'm convinced…" A large snowflake distracted him and made him cross his eyes trying to look at it as it suddenly landed on his nose. He couldn't help giggling when William rubbed it off. "I'm glad to hear that," the dark-haired shinigami remarked, somehow immensely relieved to see the boy smiling and back to his frankly adorable self again. With some reluctance he let go of him and brushed some more snow out of his golden hair and tears from his cheeks. "Maybe we should go back inside now?" he suggested, noticing the boy was shivering. "It's late…" Then a familiar voice cut through the nightly quiet, ripping the atmosphere, making him freeze instantly. "Wiiillll! I finally found you! You still owe me that dance, remember?"


End file.
